Hallmark Magazine

Schools out! Survive summer vacation with these helpful parenting tips.

By Elinor Nauen

Summer is a great time to get reacquainted with your teen by having conversations that cut through the murk and help bring you closer. How you communicate makes all the difference, of course. Here’s how to handle some all-too-common scenarios:

Hours ago you asked your son to take out the trash, and he still hasn’t done it.
TRY THIS
To get your teen to do chores, remove yourself from the equation. Make them his responsibility, says psychologist Linda Sonna, Ph.D., author of The Everything Parenting a Teenager Book: A Survival Guide for Parents! Ask, “When do you plan to get started?” That works because you’re putting the onus on him while giving him a say in the process. Then you can simply prompt him (“The trash?”) and skip the harangue. “Because it’s on our mind, we think it’s on theirs—but it isn’t,” Sonna says.

JUST DON’T
Don't scream, “Do it now!” If you can stay calm, your teen will stay calm.

Your daughter is always out with her best friend; you’re wondering what they’re up to.
TRY THIS
“Teens don’t want to tell you everything, but that doesn’t mean they’re keeping big secrets,” says Burningham. Still, you need to know enough to protect them—and to be part of their lives. So how do you have a real dialogue rather than an interrogation? “A lot of teens are prone to what
I call one-word-itis,” Burningham says, “but you can get longer answers if you catch them in a social mood—at meals rather than when they’re on the way out, for example.” Talk loosely about your day and follow up with open-ended questions like, “By the way, what did you and Mindy end up doing?” If something your daughter says raises a red flag, be up front about it: “Are you sure there isn’t anything you want to discuss with me?”

JUST DON’T
Don't shut down the exchange with a barrage of questions. That will only put your teen on the defensive.

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